the epiphany

so i'm lying in my bed, halfway watching "the princess and the frog", super full from from a DELICIOUS dinner with the besties. earlier, i tweeted that i had an epiphany today. some people may consider this general knowledge and, on the surface, i would too, but in practice, i essentially didn't know. here it is: JUST BECAUSE YOU AND SOMEONE CLICK, SEX ISN'T NECESSARILY THE NEXT STEP. for so long, i've lived like this: we meet, we like each other, we get along, we kick it, we sleep together. #itneverfails except for this time...



i met, let's call him the nickname the besties gave him lol, DD about 2 months ago in the mall. we exchanged niumbers and we started texting. then we started talking. then we started kicking it. he's spent the night a few times and we usually end up watching a movie and cuddling/spooning until i fall asleep (he works nights so he doesn't go to sleep til like 7am). and normally it would be time for #mrnastytime lmao...but this time it's different. we've never had sex or even kissed. no petting. just laying up and enjoying each other's company. ::pause:: whose mind has said, "oh dat nigga gay"? exactly what i'm talking about lol. i like him. i'm just don't wanna screw him yet.



there's sooo much pressure to have sex. i felt like it was mandatory to even DATE, not even be in a serious relationship with, a guy. after today, i'm doing what i WANNA do, not what i feel like i HAVE TO do. now i enjoy sex just as much as, if not more than, anybody else, but i decided who i had sex with based on who i didn't want to stop talking to me and not necessarily who i wanted to have sex with. there is a difference. i promise.



so all in all, i'm feeling good about me yes yess! and that's a big accomplishment for me :)